Military article. Banal revelations

“As they say in Odesa, the worst unemployment is when your head doesn't work.”

The Right to Happiness and Joy: My Recipes

Could we have imagined the horror that has now befallen our beloved Ukraine and all of us, the Ukrainian people?

We all remembered what was happening in Donetsk, we sympathized and shared the pain, but we couldn’t fully comprehend the scale of the tragedy.

Life changed in an instant on February 24, 2022.

The life we had before is gone.

Anger, pain, rage, horror, helplessness, and the sense of being unable to change anything—all of this awareness has come to me, and still does, in waves. Psychologists say that this is probably a strong inner defense mechanism of my psyche.

Maybe.

But this defense cannot shield me from one thing. The life I once knew is gone, along with the simple joys of life—the ability to feel happiness from little things, to see beauty, and to delight in it.

It’s not just that this has disappeared. I suddenly realized that I was not allowing myself even a moment of life’s pleasures; inside me, it feels almost like a betrayal of those fighting at the front, of those who are no longer with us, of those who have stayed and are suffering, and even of those who have left Ukraine and, believe me, are suffering too.

The next realization was that this is exactly what the enemy wants—to deprive us of Life, even for those of us who are alive but no longer truly living.

So, while I understood this, figuring out what to do about it took time. Here’s what I do and what helps me feel Life, in defiance of all the enemies who dream of breaking us, both morally and physically.

First and foremost, remember that you’re helping your country with your work, through volunteering, by doing good deeds and offering kind words, helping others, and even just by maintaining your own physical and mental health. You’re helping your fellow Ukrainians, even if it’s just by building healthy relationships in the places you’re living now. This is incredibly important.

Each of us is a miniature Ukraine.

Try to see beauty in blooming trees, in flowers that open, in birds singing, in the first rays of sunlight, in beautiful photos, in wonderful children, in everything that allows us to appreciate life’s beauty!

Work. If possible, work—even if you have to do something unusual or different from what you’re used to. This helps immensely.

Fourth, and very important for me, is any kind of creative activity. That’s how the project "Springtime War Tales 2022" began. As long as I write, as long as I create, as long as my brain generates something creative, neurotransmitters kick in, and I start to feel lighter. I even smile when I write and read the stories created by our talented storytellers. Do what you can—write articles and posts, experiment with dressing differently, try making a typical breakfast in a new way, invent even a new way of picking your nose; it’ll definitely help. As we say in Odesa, the worst unemployment is when your brain stops working. Don’t allow that kind of unemployment—you’ll feel better. Though I understand it’s hard now.

Fifth—physical labor. Just do anything you can. Clean, cook, wash, dig. Whatever. It helps too, and you may even invent a new way of doing it!

Sixth, many people are sending private messages describing what’s happening, with all the details. Please understand, I don’t judge anyone; we all share sorrow, grief, and pain. But these messages don’t help us straighten up, be useful, or preserve ourselves. Protect yourself from extra emotional trauma. Try not to read them. You won’t help anyone, and you’ll only hurt yourself. And hurting yourself means hurting Ukraine.

Seventh—just go for a walk. Gather your strength and go. Movement lowers adrenaline; I call it “walking the stress out.”

And eighth, communicate. If you can’t meet in person, gather online—but not to share horrors. Talk about something good and interesting. I’m fortunate in this regard as I can connect with our graduates and students. Our regular seminars are a true breath of fresh air.

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Any way that helps, whether it’s the first, second, or seventh step, is worth trying if it works for you or provides you with personal relief.

Love to you all!

Be happy no matter what and despite everything! Sending you warm hugs with all my heart!

A special thanks to everyone who joined our seminar two days ago. Grateful to have you close!

Tetyana Budantsova